F1 Ferrari Mission Winnow
Image © Scuderia Ferrari/Mission Winnow (Digitally Altered)

On the eve of the 2019 season Scuderia Ferrari have announced a new commercial partnership with sponsor ‘Mission Smokenow’

“Mission Smokenow has one clear, simple vision: to slap cigarette sponsorship on Formula 1 cars without anyone mission-win-knowing” company chief Stuart Bracklington said, coughing.

Bracklington, who heads up the Global Culture, Change & Cigarette division was adamant the campaign was not a desperate bid from a multinational tobacco company to advertise in Formula 1.

“This is all about innovative solutions to long standing problems,” he said, “it just so happens the worldwide epidemic of tobacco advertising bans is one of them!”

“It’s all part of our broader vision – Mission Subvert Anti Tobacco Regulations” Bracklington confirmed, still coughing.

“We have some of the brightest minds – scientists, researchers, copywriters – working day in day out on these challenges ”

“Through vague branding and bullsh*t buzzwords, we’ll change the world!” Bracklington told reporters “And hopefully sell some cigars in the process”

Bracklington dismissed talk that the campaign was an empty slogan, with no practical goals or achievements.

“We’ve already had our first breaktrhough!” Bracklington confirmed

“One of our research teams have managed to develop the technology that might one day be used to create ads for tobacco without mentioning tobacco!”

It comes as Australian authorities are reportedly investigating the team regarding a potential breach of local tobacco advertising restrictions.

Many fans were left confused by the subliminal branding.

“Are you kidding??” one intelligent fan told us during a smoke break.  

“I had no idea it was tobacco advertising!!”

“I thought it was just a bizarre slogan with no product in the shape of the Malboro logo made by a Tobacco giant” he said, “I didn’t join the dots!”

“Have you got a light?”


Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here