HAAS F1 Pitstop
Image © Formula1.com/SABreakingNews

Haas Team Principal and all-round savage, Guenther Steiner, has today announced that Rich Energy Haas F1 Team has withdrawn from the DHL Fastest Pitstop Award.

The Award is given to the team that achieves the fastest pitstop in a race, most often in 2019.

“What’s the f@%#*$^ point?!” explained Guenther Steiner.

The Austrian sounding Italian came to the decision after a lengthy phone call with Team Owner Gene Haas, explaining how his pit crew failed to secure Romain Grosjean’s front left tyre to the car… yet again.

“Gene, I don’t know what to tell you, uh.”

“We just look like a bunch of wankers…” he added.

Haas driver, Romain Grosjean was understandably disappointed post race, however explained to the press that he didn’t initially think it was a faulty pit stop that ruined his race.

“I thought Marcus [Ericsson] hit me.”

Haas’ decision to no longer compete for the fastest pitstop was fully supported by the pit crew member who was responsible for Sunday’s calamity.

“I guess I can now just focus on putting the wheel on properly…” he said, with the fragile body language of a man who had to face Guenther Steiner post race.

Rich Energy CEO William Storey has revealed he fully supports the team’s decision to abandon competing in the DHL ‘Fastest Pitstop’ Award, claiming he was never a fan of the German logistics company.

“Forget shipping, Rich Energy gives you horns.”

We contacted DHL for their response, they sent it via express courier but it still hasn’t arrived.


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