George Russell has sensationally handcuffed himself to the W10 whilst driving it for Mercedes on Day 2 of the Bahrain Test.
The former Mercedes Junior is believed to have cuffed himself during the Installation Lap, and swallowed the key prior to returning the pit.
“It was easier to swallow than the thought of driving with Williams for the rest of the year.” He whimpered.
Russell defiantly abandoned Mercedes’ Testing Program, and spent hours upon hours and lap after lap out on the track, obviously enjoying a car that isn’t 3 laps slower than his competition.
Contrast to popular opinion, sources can reveal the young Brit was not reprimanded by Mercedes, but instead, encouraged.
“We felt bad for the boy, so we gave him a couple of laps with Party Mode turned on!” One engineer commented.
When asked what his actions meant for his current team Williams, Russell wasn’t as diplomatic as usual.
“Oh right… them.”
“If they want me, they can come and get me… They’ll need bolt cutters though,” he giggled, fully aware that Williams can’t afford Bolt Cutters of any sort.
Russell was eventually cut loose from the W10 by F1 stewards, who were tipped off by a salty Valtteri Bottas.
“I’ve already got one driver trying to take my spot, I don’t need another.”
Despite obvious heartbreak at the thought of having to return to Williams, Russell shed light on some advice he’d received from current World Champion and part time purveyor of wisdom, Lewis Hamilton.
“He told me that I’m young with a bright future and to trust God… and something about love, so yeah, sure, that makes me feel a whole lot better.”