Struggling to generate enough heat in their tyres in the last two races, Haas have turned to the only scientific way to generate real heat:
Giving them a minute in the microwave on high.
“That outta do it” Team Principal and Teen Idol Guenther Steiner told reporters.
“I reheated some strudel in there last week and it was hotter than the Sun” Steiner confirmed.
However Haas were later forced to confirm rumours the method hadn’t worked.
“F**k” Steiner told a Netflix camera crew.
“The outside is boiling but the inside of the Tyre is frozen”
“Give them another 30 seconds” Steiner yelled at mechanics.
“We could have looked like celebrity chefs, but now we look like a bunch of wankers” Steiner told team owner Gene Haas over the phone.
There is further trouble for the team, with FIA officials flagging the tactic is potentially illegal.
“They face a Stop/Reset-Go penalty” an FIA spokesperson confirmed.
“Or a time penalty in increments of 10 seconds, 1 minute or 10 minutes”
Steiner also confirmed the team’s tyre strategy ahead of this weekend’s Azerbaijan Grand Prix.
“We’ll be opting for the medium tyres and the medium high tyres”
“We’ll keep the defrost tyres as back up” Steiner confirmed.
