Senior Williams officials have confirmed the team’s engineers “can’t be bothered” fixing Kubica’s car after he sensationally crashed out in Q1.
“What’s the point?” one engineer replied.
“He’ll only crash it again anyway, and if he doesn’t he’ll be 3 laps down plum last” another told us.
“To think I’m gonna spend all night slaving away over the FW42 – piss off!”
“I’ve got Game of Thrones to watch!” said a senior engineer.
Kubica himself understandably had a different take on the issue.
“Don’t worry about rebuilding it for Sunday – don’t bother rebuilding it at all for any race, I’m done!” Kubica said.
“There’s no way I want to get back in that thing”
The Polish driver issuing senior team officials with an ultimatum
“If you dare fix that car I’ll drive it over a drain cover” Kubica threatened.
Fortunately for Robert, the team confirmed they would not be able to repair the car.
“We don’t have the parts” Deputy Team Principal Clare Williams confirmed.
“No spare floor, a nose, suspension – nothing!”
“All we’ve got is an unopened can of baked beans George was saving”