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Bowing to fan backlash, the FIA will replace the Formula 1 stewards with a $14.99 Magic 8 Ball for this weekend’s French Grand Prix.

“This should fix it” Ross Brawn told us.

“The fans have spoken, and unusually we’ve listened” Ross Brawn told us.

“Ultimately we need a fast, reliable and effective means of identifying, investigating and processing hundreds of complex decisions in real time”

“Hence the ball” Brawn replied.

It comes after the stewards handed race leader Sebastian Vettel a 5 second time penalty for rejoining the track in an unsafe manner at the Canadian Grand Prix.

“The Magic 8 Ball got the right decision – ‘Ask again later.’” Brawn confirmed.

FIA officials were impressed with the Magic 8 Ball’s ability to make cool, calm, collected decisions quickly and correctly.

“The Magic 8 ball isn’t going to be rattled or shook when it has to make a tough decision” an FIA spokesperson told us.

“Except that it has to be rattled or shook to make a decision” the spokesperson clarified.

We asked Ross Brawn if the replacement would solve the broader issues Formula 1 fans have with the handing down of race-related punishments by the sport’s governing body.

“Hang on….” Brawn said.

“All signs point to yes!” Brawn replied.

The Magic 8 ball is looking forward to officiating in its first Formula 1 race this weekend in France.

“Yes – definitely.” the Magic 8 Ball replied.

“Don’t count on it.” the Magic 8 Ball added confusingly, contradicting it’s previous statement.

We approached the Magic 8 Ball for clarification on its contradictory comments.

“Reply hazy, try again.” it replied.

“Concentrate and ask again.”


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