After the success of their Spice World Tour, the Sice Girls have unveilled a brand new member – Old Spice.
Old Spice, or as he was previously known, Bernie Eccelstone, is a former Formula 1 supremo, who is swapping the grid for the glitter for a series of concerts.
“I literally can’t even deal!!!!” Mr Ecclestone told us, “except for when I was the boss of F1, I dealed all the time.”
Old Spice confessed to some initial hestitations when the idea was first floated.
“I was worried it might be a little weird, walking into the group as an 88 year old motorsport magnate”
“But the girls have been incredibly welcoming and generous – I just can’t wait to get out there!”
“They even give me a boost so I can reach the microphone – not that they’re plugged in, it’s a Spice Girls concert” Old Spice told us.
Mr Ecclestone has been drafted in as a replacement for Posh Spice, who has refused to take part in the tour as she battles chronic indifference.
Prodcuers are thrilled with the replacement.
“He’s the perfect replacement for Posh – you can’t get more posh than a $3.2 billion dollar business magnate” an insider told us.
Interestingly, Spice sources have revealed the name wasn’t the first suggestion.
“The focus group actually suggested the name Really Scary Spice” a senior Spice official confirmed.
However Mr Ecclestone was accepting of the new name.
“I like Old Spice – the deoderant and the name”
“It’s actually an ironic nickname, as it turns out I’m considerably younger than the girls!”
Producers confirm the new Spice Girl has been busy with the band, re-writing a number of the group’s biggest hits.
“I’ve rewritten the song 2 Become 1 to 20 Become 6 – about the 2005 United States Grand Prix tyre fiasco”
“And I can’t wait to perform their signature hit – If You Wanna Be My Lover, You Gotta Sign My Concorde Agreement”
Old Spice is looking forward to getting out on stage with the girls later in the year.
“I’m hoping to see thousands of cheering fans!” Old Spice told us.
“And a stairlift”
